So this post has absolutely nothing to do with mail. It does have to do with my spawn that lives with me. Kaylee. And her visit to the doctor (ie: merchant of pain and death).
For the past few weeks, we have apparently been getting these letters from the school nurse, informing us that our lack of parenting was jeopardizing the entire welfare of the school and surrounding community at large.
So while digging through her backpack I came upon the actual letter that had somehow gotten buried under the extra set of clothes, the happy napper and the folder crammed in there for her friday take home.
"It has come to our attention that the small alien unit you call Kalyee is remise in her vaccination schedule and shall be excised if your cooperation in remedying this situation is not handled post haste." (so forth and so on and such)
This was followed up by a letter from the school nurse (sent through the mail.. see a mail tie in after all) stating the same thing. That our child would be excommunicated from the likes of Frontier Elementary Home of the Frontier Firebirds if our transgressions were not corrected and this would happen on forth coming Monday. Holy carpal tunnel Batman!!
So being the super daddy that I am, I inform the school principal, her teacher and the school nurse that I will take care of the child they deem Typhoid Mary immediately. (and that I would be taking her out of class in the middle of the day to get her shot up)
OFF TO THE DOCTOR!! (badda badda bum) (hey you try typing out batman sounds)
So we get to the pediatricians office only to discover that we are early and we didn't know that because the hours for the office had fallen on the floor and I was standing on the sign.
We get in there and I have a question as to whether she actually needs the vaccines in question (I was in there 3 weeks ago and asked if we needed any shots). It turns out that I needed to wait another half hour for her previous doctor to be back from lunch to check his records. (insert girl from iponema here)
2 O'Clock.. Yes Mr. Dodson she is due for her under 4 shots. OK how many is that? 4. Oh CRAP!
So I have been telling Kaylee this should be 2 at the most. Now for those of you with small children you know what is coming. For those of you without children, may you get pregnant soon.. We shouldn't have to go through this alone..
While we are there though I ask to add on her flu shot (nasal) for good measure. Hey, were here.
Kaylee and I are joking, she's in a good mood. I'm taking her out for a nice helping of Diabetes after the inquisition that I know is coming.
So nurse Jackie comes in with the tray. Flu vaccine in the nose first. No problem, daddy says just like the flonase we get every day. Then comes the first needle. My calm and happy child BOLTS off the table.. It was just one smooth move from sitting into my lap with a look of terror I will never forget. You would have thought that the nurse pulled out a Stihl Chainsaw and fired it up and was looking to add some more human skin to her collection.
I have to tell nurse Jackie that I got this and picked up Kaylee, put her back on the table and held her tight while the injections took place. 3 in one arm and 1 in the other. The nurse put the bandaids on and asked if she was OK. Kaylee looked at her arm and the bandaid that was showing some air space and said "Do I look OK. Look at the bandaid.. It's bulging up!!"
I pealed it up and put it back down. See all better. Now lets go and get some stickers.. (cause that will make it all better.. uh huh..)
We leave the office and get into the truck, buckle in, and I ask her "what happened?? You knew you were going to get some shots.." She look straight at me and said "I thought she was going to put all of those shots in my nose."
More to come folks, back in the mail business shortly. Just a short pause in our day to day called life.
omg! nearly fell offa my chair from reading this! thanks.ReplyDelete
I am here to entertain..Delete
What Dori said!! LOLROTFLMAO!!!! What a great kid, smart too!ReplyDelete
She has had some good ones lately. I need to write them down.ReplyDelete